I love a good conspiracy theory.
I would probably be a conspiracy believer if I weren’t so convinced of the incompetence of conspirators and the inevitability of unintended consequences. But, if I can’t get in on the fun by believing some conspiracies, I can, at the very least, participate by occasionally contributing one. Here’s one I haven’t seen anywhere yet.
Just a short time ago, an off-shore drilling rig exploded, killing some of the workers and creating an enormous and continuing oil spill off the southern U.S. coast.
A short time before the explosion, the Commander in Chief of the U.S. announced that he would be allowing the development of further off-shore drilling.
Now, the drilling announcement was met, on the one hand, with surprise and relief by millions of American who thought it no less than common sense to develop America’s own resources when it was being blackmailed and sucked dry by the Arabs; it was met predictably, on the other hand, with shock, dismay, and a sense of betrayal by what is generally considered Obama’s “base,” the ultra-left screaming wackos. How could he? they screamed, Why would he?
Well, the answer to both of those questions seems pretty obvious. There are mid-term elections coming down the pike, drawing rapidly ever nearer, and the democrat chances are looking pretty grim. Perhaps, said the Bamster to himself, I can bleed off a few of the “independents” by doing what Clinton did, namely “move towards the center.” All I need to do, he said to himself, is something that will allow them to think what they really want to think anyway, namely that I’m really just a “pragmatic” guy, not an extreme leftie ideologue, and giving out a few new drilling licenses will convince them that I’m really not in the pocket of the eco-nazis, that I’m also “independent,” just like them, and that I can be depended on to do the common sense thing. Yeah, he said to himself, that's the ticket!
Of course, the problem with his reasoning would have been immediately apparent to any one of the brains he keeps around him. It would have seemed to them that while such a move might gain some independents, it would equally likely lose some loyalists. At best, it would only have a very small net gain, at worst, a large net loss, most likely no net change at all. Unless… unless … unless …
Unless, one of them thought, we could add a little complication that could turn his move into a bonanza for the left generally, and for the eco-freaks particularly.
What if, they said to themselves, what if, if after a bit of time following the granting of the licenses, there were to be a major ecological disaster?
Well, how would that help us? asked Obama (not being the sharpest knife in the drawer).
Well, answered the brain, if there were an oil disaster, then you could immediately put a halt on all of those new licenses (which has just been done) and you would still have gained your new Independents while retaining your loyalists. The independents would say, He's an ok guy, he can't help stopping the new drilling, it'sot his fault. The leftoid crazies would say, He's an ok guy, he stopped the drilling, he was on our side all along.
But, even better than that, the brain went on, this disaster would make any future off-shore drilling application a sure-fire d.o.a.. And, in addition, he said, it would further depress the American economy (which always makes a population turn to bigger government).
From a leftoid’s point of view, he said, this could be the gift that keeps on giving.
So, the question one has to ask oneself is this: Did the Bamster or one of his brains have anything to do with the causing of this accident? Here are some reflections.
The last big spill was the Exxon Valdez (why do they always pronounce it “Valdeez” on the news?) way back in Mar of 1989. Is it just a coincidence that, after 21 years of off-shore drilling without incident all around the world, that there should be a major oil spill just shortly after the granting of new licenses by a president who is in the pocket of the eco-nazi movement? I, for one, find that a bit too much of a coincidence.
There seems to have been absolutely no investigation of exactly what caused the explosion. Isn’t that strange? Could it have been, for example, just one of those shoulder fired mini-missiles so common in the U.S. armory?
Admit it, it could have gone down exactly like this:
The pressure is getting to the Bamster, it looks like November is going to be democrat Armageddon. He needs to do something, he calls in, say, some like mindeds from the Pentagon, and they send out a couple of reliable agents. The agents get themselves all wet-suited, go out on a raft, take a bead on the rig, and Bob’s your uncle, the whole thing is done.
Too crazy for you? How about this?
I just heard on the news that there was an actual emergency plan specifically targeted on the exact kind of spill that just occurred. Mysteriously, it was not activated, even though the locals were aware of it and were just waiting for the orders to begin.
All of this, a coincidence? I think not, I’m afraid, I think not.
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